Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
