Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
