he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
