Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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