That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
