We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
