The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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