im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
