my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize