It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
