White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
ok first of all what the fuck
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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