You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
