if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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