My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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