dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
