so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
