Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
