actually, I'm a sock model
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize