Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
