I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize