oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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