oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
