He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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