I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize