I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
no you cant smoke seaweed
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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