she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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