Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
