Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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