y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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