porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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