It's Friday. Sex?
dude i'm inner monologue high
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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