New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He did a backflip because drugs
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
