sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize