Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
