So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
