I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Your cock deserves a montage
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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