never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
ttyl tear gas
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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