I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
