I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
