you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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