My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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