She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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