I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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