Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Randomize
