I must be too annoying 4 u.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
