I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize