Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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