He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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