plz talk dirty to me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
