I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
