Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
