remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
