soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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