her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
