so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Actions speak louder than pants.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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