Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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