I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
