What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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