I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
