Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
