Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
