Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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