just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
