idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
