I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
