Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
