she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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