I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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