singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
