He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
