I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
