I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
