i jhust puked up my retainher.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
